It’s an emotional week right now. I think the combination of a very cranky, teething 17 month old who is not getting nearly enough sleep (and having the same effect on mommy) and just feeling emotional at the moment is making me cranky. I think it’s one of those female things were you really just need a good sad movie and a good cry. Or maybe just a nap. Anyway, lately I have been thinking about how moving around frequently sometimes makes me tired. Not necessarily in the physical sense of exhaustion that certainly exists when relocating your family on a semi-regular basis (because believe me, this happens too). No, I have gotten that part down to a science. I mean more in the sense that while certain tasks become easier and more routine, the urge to try to connect with people fades. Disillusionment stemming from people in my past that I thought I could trust combined with my fear of playgroups leaves me to the point where I run out of the desire to make an effort. I know this has been a running theme in some of my posts lately, but the more I’ve read around the blogosphere, the better I feel about not being the only one who feels this way. For all of you who commented on my playgroups post, I thank you for the understanding you shared!

I have been lucky throughout the years to make a few good friends along the way. I cherish these friends. I cherish these friends who make sure to call when I’m slacking on my end and call me on it and talk to me. I cherish the few people who were there for me a couple months ago when I thought my world was going to implode and come crashing down upon me. I cherish their unyielding support, dedication, and true caring for me- and they know they have it return in spades.

But these friends I have met along the way of all of our moving, while amazing to have, do not always help with the immediate. I have talked before about the effects of location on friendships but have lately had another element added. While my regular conversations with those few friends are so important, I have noticed myself in a bit of a funk lately with my immediate surroundings. I miss those friends who I could get together over a bottle (oops, I mean glass) of wine and talk through whatever was happening in our lives. I miss the non-judgmental people that I have been lucky to know and am left frustrated by others. I am saddened by the people I thought I could count on only to find that this was only the case on their terms. Sometimes life generally gets in the way, sometimes I feel guilty for not doing more on my end. All of this combines with our semi-nomadic existence for the next few years and leaves me incredibly exhausted and admittedly homesick.

I have found this post to have been in a form in my drafts for awhile now, always a bit unsure of how to fully express the emotions I have such a hard time labeling. Some days I find myself contented, especially with some of the fabulous people I have met through blogging (and hope to meet at a conference one of these days soon!). Other days, I miss having some consistency in location and the frustration of some people not being there when you expected them to be takes their toll. But, more often than not, I find that it all builds up, and with the knowledge that where we are now is also temporary, I find myself locked into a state of, well, ennui.

Do you have particular friends you miss? Or do you currently live in a place where you don’t have someone to regularly get together with? Share with me your experiences- and any advice!

This post is linked up to Pour Your Heart Out at Shell’s Blog, Things I Can’t Say (which I know you’re all following because she’s such a great blogger- and bloggy friend!). Thanks Shell for providing me with the nudge I need to sometimes, well, pour out these thoughts.

Tagged as: Friends, moving, Pour your heart out