I have to admit, I gave pause to posting this. We are often consumed of what others think of us, whether it is the opinion of friends, families, strangers- or in this case, my blog readers. I love the support and connections I have found through blogging, so I found myself ranging in emotions from being skeptical that this is pouring my heart out to realizing it really is- I’m sharing one of my mom insecurities.

Sometimes, I just have to send my children to watch television.

There. I said it. I know, I know, I am a terrible mother and am prepared to have my supermom crown taken away. But alas, it is true. Amidst the endless criticisms that exist, the fervent warnings of the repercussions, and the judgment of other moms everywhere, sometimes the television gets turned on.

Let me explain my process. I am a stay at home mom. You know, the mom who spends the day cooking and cleaning, attending to her children’s every whim, cultivating little minds with expert craft projects and bestowing my endless wisdom upon them. I never lose my patience, never raise my voice. I know just what to do at every turn and never make mistakes.

Yeah, I don’t believe that either.

I am not sure why it is automatically assumed that because we are stay at home mothers, we have an easy job. I am also not sure why it is assumed that we do not have the desire to go to work. I can tell you that there are days that I salivate over the idea of putting on a suit and heels, dropping the kids off with a sitter, and spend the day being intellectually stimulated and working on the tasks that I spent years getting an education for. I treasure the ability to be able to be with my kids, but some days are very long, even if the years are short. I have never been an anti-television mom, even before I had children. But, I sure have encountered others- both with children and without- who have quite the opinions on the subject.

With the month of July ending, I am feeling a bit stuck on that end, while enduring the unbearable heat of this crazy summer heat wave and the ensuing irritability of my children. I’m cranky, I’m irritable, and I’m tired. Now, with the allure of summertime quickly disappearing into a memory while anticipation for fall (and cooler weather) increases, I’m running out of ideas and my patience is short. I am having one of those weeks where I just feel the need to scream.

I strongly dislike this frame of mind I’m in, and then I become frustrated with myself and guilty. It is a little ridiculous at times how much pressure you can feel to reach that June Cleaver level of perfection. (Although without some type of medication, I’m not sure that’s possible) I know that sometimes I’m going to lack motivation and need to take a break. It really can be easier said than done, I suppose. It can be so hard to remember that even though we may be mom, we are still human.

So you know what? Even though winter will come and we’ll be indoors more for movie days and television days, I’m creating my own Christmas in July and allowing my children to watch a little extra television. And I’m saving my sanity.

What do you do when you have just had enough and need a break from your kids?

This post is linked up to Pour Your Heart Out at Shell’s Blog, Things I Can’t Say. Be sure to visit and follow her!

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